Being Santa

I am standing outside, covered head to foot. Even my face is covered. It is Christmas Day and it is around 90 degrees out. I am really starting to sweat.

I trained as an actor, and I was playing a character I had only played once before – Santa Claus. The first time was for a swinger’s dance, and I had a number of lovely ladies sit on my lap. This second time many years later was much different, as it was for kids.

As it turns out, Santa is wildly inappropriately dressed for this Southern California December heat wave. I am waiting to be introduced to entertain a group of children.

I have been an actor, comedian and a magician, but this is the first time I had experienced such true belief. To most of these kids, Santa was real. That is a lot of responsibility. I worked hard to make him completely believable, and believe they did.

Some of the kids had been on the Santa Train just the week before. I had thought out what to say to explain why my Santa Claus was different from the Santa on the train. It did not matter. They easily accepted me as the same Santa. It was amazing.

Kids loved telling Santa all about their Christmas and what they were doing, but most of all, they just love Santa. One little girl shouted rapturously, “Santa, you’re the best!” as I was leaving.

While I seldom perform any more, this was a favor. I really did not know if I could pull it off. I had developed a pretty good Santa voice, which you can hear in this Interview with Santa. It was quite a heartwarming experience. To these kids, I was Santa, and they loved me (or rather, they loved the Santa they believed me to be.)

Although this time was family friendly, I still got adult women who wanted to sit in my lap. One woman straddled my knee, much to my surprise, and leaned back into me enough to drag down on my beard which was attached with spirit gum. It came loose and I had to sort of balance it on my face the rest of the appearance. Another woman pushed her breasts tightly into me as we posed for a picture. There were so many gorgeous MILFS, I had to work very hard to keep my mind as pure as Santa’s. My vision of Santa is not as a dirty old man, but as someone on a much higher plane. When I was Santa, no naughty thoughts crossed my mind. I stayed completely in character.

I stayed in full costume and makeup when we were driving around because I did not want kids to see a partial Santa Claus. We were driving through a rather dicey neighborhood, and some teenage boys trying to look tough walked by. The moment they saw me, through, they all smiled and waved.

Everyone who saw me smiled. We were stopped at a light and a little girl rolled down her window excitedly so she could talk to Santa Claus. I wished her and her family a Merry Christmas.

There is nothing like being Santa Claus. He is universally loved, and Santa loves everyone. Now that I have had a taste, I may have to do it again next year.