Archive | March 2018

Sexual Support

I feel quite fortunate to be able to move through so many wonderful sexual alternative communities. I am not personally bi, but my wife Kris is (she has even marched in the Long Beach Gay Pride Parade), and we occasionally host bi parties and we do attend various bi events. We have a long association with various nudist groups (some sexual and most not- well unless you look beneath the surface.) We have long been very active in the swinger community and host a number of parties. We have been to polyamory events, BDSM dungeon parties, parties with porn stars, foot fetish events, and to sex clubs and resorts.

While all of this contributes to our knowledge of human sexuality and makes us better sex educators, we also do it because of the people. They tend to be interesting and fun to be around, even beyond just the sex part (and we really do like the sex part.) To get to the point where you can successfully and comfortably navigate through the various sexual alternative communities requires you to develop strong social skills and to have worked through some of your own issues. You have to have thought about your own sexuality and what it is that you actually desire. These environments encourage and sort of require a certain amount of self-actualization.

Being a part of alternative sexuality groups is also a positive in that you discover that there are others like you. If you worry that you might be too kinky, you will quickly discover people much kinkier than you. You will also learn a lot from others who share similar sexual interests, and you might even discover sexual interests you did not even know you had.
There are many groups that have social events where you can just meet and mingle. These often take place in public venues. We are given so many negative messages about sexuality, I think it is very important to be in environments that are positively affirming and where you can just be yourself.

If you live far from a city you may be out of luck, but even most modest size cities have groups that support various interests. Let Google be your guide.

Swinging and Diversity

My wife and I were at a swing party the other night, but we did not play. That happens sometimes. In this case, it was a smaller party, and we spent most of the time talking to really interesting people that we had not gotten a chance to talk much with in the past.

It got me to thinking about swing parties and the type of people who attend them. The great thing about it is that you develop a very diverse social circle with people from all different backgrounds.

Here in Los Angeles we have one of the most diverse populations in the country, with people from all over the world. There is the opportunity to get to know people with wildly different backgrounds and life experiences.

For someone like me who loves diversity and associating with people who are different from me, L.A. is the perfect place to be. I have had the opportunity to be intimate with women from Japan, China, Russia, India, Iran, the Czech Republic, Mexico, even Canada (some of the most polite sex you will ever have.) I have learned more about their cultures and in many cases spent time with their families and experienced their traditions and the food they grew up with. I have had sex with women of every ethnicity, including Native American. I have been greatly enriched by this intimate exposure to people who are not just like me. I think if we had more of that, there would be less racism and hate, something that now seems to be consuming our country.

L.A. is also a creative town. Among the people who often attend this fairly frequent swing party is a composer with his own orchestra, a successful playwright with productions all over the world, a number of actors, a movie director (mainstream- not porn), a television editor, an actual rocket scientist, and many other people with really interesting careers. These are people I would never have associated with otherwise. Through swinging I have gotten to know an Emmy winning producer, radio and television personalities, writers, sex experts, and so many others. We have friends in the industry from our years working in mainstream show business, but swinging has introduced us to many new people in the industry. Here in L.A. at least, swinging attracts some of the most fascinating people. That is one of the many many reasons I love L.A. and the people who live here.